The Reason I Smile
by The.Original.Wallflower.Girl
Summary: I don't what they are called, the spaces between seconds-I used to think, that I thought about my parents, or my brothers in those intervals. But somehow Percy Jackson sneaked his way in. This is a story about a girl who thought all sad stories could be easily fixed. Who thought Infinities meant to know not to live. (This is real life. This story is hugely edited from 1st draft)
1. Chapter 1

**o~o~o**

1

AFTER

I stared out the window in dismay, I didn't want to leave. It was like my insides were being ripped apart. I couldn't leave him. Not now. He was right, he was always right. My other half was still in New York. Still in Upper East Side. I couldn't part with it, no matter how much I begged, I was still there.

I looked at Helen, her eyes were on the road. I saw her frown deepen when she sensed my eyes on her. I clenched my jaw, looked at the road ahead then at my window. I promised her I wouldn't become the 'Runaway Chase' again.

Although every bone in my body wanted to bust the window open and jump out of the moving vehicle. Hey, It seemed like a good Idea at the time.

I saw in the rear view mirror a scared looking Mathew and Bobby. Malcolm was trying to calm them down, holding everyone's bag. Including mine. My eyes landed back on Helen. I mentally glared at her. How dare she do this.

I remembered the first time I met Helen, she called me an Unsophisticated and Ludicrous person. Big words for a 20-something year old. But, she also called me platitudinous, I never knew you could use platitudinous as a statement to define somebody.

"You know...," I started, she looked over at me."Without even realizing it you taught me a lot of things. Not only about life, but how it's okay to feel something extraordinary about someone,"

To lead up to this moment, I couldn't let this happen.

I couldn't just sit idly by, while she decided my future.

"That's why...I have to do this."

I could just let her decide that for me.

"Stop that car!"

"Wait, wha-" Helen furrowed her eyebrows together. Even though her words read alarm and discomfort she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Stop the car!" I shouted again. We came to a read light, Helen looked at me like I was crazy. She looked at me worriedly. I only had about 15 seconds for the people to cross the street on the busy road.

I unbuckled my seat belt, Helen put her hand on mine and stopped me. "You can't runaway."

I grabbed my hand back. "I know. That's why I'm asking you," I paused opening the door and standing outside, talking through the window. "That's why I'm asking you to make up any excuse, I just need this. I don't care what you tell them...I don't even care if you say I had gone mentally insane and ran way. Just give me this. Please." I questioned my ability to influence somebody, at that point I didn't think she'd believe me. How her nose scrunched at that thought of me and Percy. I know she didn't like him, she said make a friend. Not a forlorn lover.

"I'll come back. I swear."

Helen looked annoyed, at first I thought she'd changed her mind. And in an instant my head went down. I took a sudden interest in my black converse shoes and skinny jeans.

She sighed. I looked up only to her looking out the window. "Hurry."

The one word that made my heart jump. I didn't know whether to hug her and scream 'yes' or run.

And I ran. I jumped around the car and a couple of passing ones.

And I ran for him and him only. But somehow, in my heart, I knew this was a mistake.

* * *

BEFORE

My name is irrelevant, though I find it appropriate to do the least and say it. Annabeth. Annabeth Chase. Surely you've heard of me. If not, I'm sorry I won't tell you-you'll have to read and find out. I hate my life. I don't sugar coat stuff like that. But the day my life ended and torture began started with a tragic mistake. And. . .You.

But, I will tell you one thing, it's why. The reason. Actually it's all the why's and why not's of my life. I never wanted any one to know. I never wanted any of this to happen. It was involuntary. Yet, it did. I fell. And I don't even know if he caught me.

My only hope these days is that he didn't just say those words as a joke. A cruel joke. That all the words he said or told me was just a dare. Messing with nerdy girl and her nerdy glasses.

He did it because it was the real him. Where I could be the real me. It was all real.

But, stories like this with non existent happy endings are truly non existent.

I just wish he would stay up at night thinking about me, the way I think about him.

I didn't choose him. My heart did. So don't point your grimy fingers at me;

Sometimes I wonder how my life would have played out if I hadn't lived through it, or it hadn't happened at all. It's funny how our minds work, explaining weird scenarios even playing them out for our own insecurity. There are things our mind does and we don't even know it. Our Mind Games. 'We live in a world full of idiots' My mother said.

But, no matter. I'm not really in the mood to talk about my real mother anyway.

My life hasn't been going smoothly since the accident. I really hope one day I can tell you the whole story. But, till then, I am considered a crazy run-away. A Compulsive Lair. The Girl With Nerdy Glasses. The Once Happy Now Hidden Girl.

BUT

My story is one, one you probably don't care to read of.

That's fine, honestly if I saw it I wouldn't either, but it is mine. MINE.

So, if your reading this now sit back, grab a coke, and be glad this isn't your life. Okay so maybe half of you will fall in love with it (Which I hope is true) and the other half will call it crap. I don't know.

But in favor, this is my story.

And I decide what happens next.

This is The Reason I Smile.

* * *

Junior High,

also known as the place you go before the penitentiary centre. Which is, coincidentally, what every Junior High Student believes to be. Or a ward, whichever seems more fitting to describe High School.

I was wacky, I guess you could say I was free of worry. To think the little girl in the back-and-white-striped stockings and black tutu was me, scares my inner consciousness. I went from Plain White T's to Awolnation. Like any normal person. Well, I guess I could define myself as normal. If any normal person at the school

6th grade.

3 years before the accident.

5 years from where I stand now.

Well, technically 2 years since it was the end of 6th grade.

It was the morning of EOG week-Monday to be precise.

I was tired of school, it was getting boring and throughout every class I always had something to worry about.

Mr. Bennett was giving us a speech about how we'd all ace it.

I smirked.

Like anyone in this class would ace it. I looked at the un-athletic guys and the girls wearing the 'V' neck shirts a little too low. I mean, just because we got out of grade school doesn't mean we automatically become sluts. Same with the guys who became major studs throughout the rest of the school year(s).

I almost laughed at Rachel Dare who came into class late. She, like some of her 'posy', was wearing a thin cut edge T-shirt from American Eagle and 6 in' heels. She could barely walk in them. I can't believe the school let her do that, dress like that.

I snickered, she saw and glared daggers at me. She walked to her seat in the back-strutting like a fat ass chicken. Excuse the French. Wait, I take that back. Don't excuse to Oh-So-Necessary language to describe Rachel Dare.

Rachel, to this day, still can't walk in heels. She never could and possibly never will.

(Later That Day) ;P

Maybe it was a miracle, or maybe sheer luck, but we had a break after the tests were done. The classes hanged out on the black top. I don't know how it started and I don't know who started it, but people started to play truth or dare, and that went to spin the bottle. At 12 years old, it was a big deal, don't get me wrong, but it was. The only person who had already kissed someone in the circle was Rachel. (The annoying girl who says I'm the she-devil of Goode High School {Smirk} Can you believe her?). We stood instead of sitting down. I don't remember the why to that either, I just remember standing.

Rachel had her animal instincts kinked to maximum and on her to kiss list #1 was Percy Jackson.

The cute guy from History Class. Percy Jackson-description: Raven black hair, Sea green eyes, scrawny. I'll let any scrawny boys out there know a girls little secret-girls sometimes like scrawny boys. (I do). Honestly, I find something really annoying about really buff guys. I guess I thought they were unattractive. And while I saw unattractive, other people/girls saw 'sexy'. I mean come on. Scrawny guys are Awesome. But, the one thing that was annoying, Rachel sorta kinda liked scrawny guys too. great.

Percy was a girls dream boy. He didn't fake emotions-or lie. Rachel was on the prowl of course, god. Percy was squirming a little at Rachel's constant staring and eyeing him like a baby gazelle.

She stared at him constantly. Oblivious Percy didn't even care. Ha. Though I wish she would have learned by now that percy doesn't really care about her. She never did. She never will.

But, the sad moment of truth came when he spun the bottle-and when it landed on me.

Crap, was the first thought that came to mind.

Percy looked at me. Worried. Grey on Green. It wasn't until then that I realized his beautiful sea green stood out more then ever, but only when he was either really nervous or really happy. To this day I don't know what he really thought at that moment. All I know is after it, he wasn't.

I remember every minute of it, surprisingly. He leaned to left, as did I. Though he acted territorial-like he was crossing an unwanted boundary. That made me feel a whole lot better, I mean just because I dress like a fictional character doesn't mean I am one.

His hands were on the edges of my shoulders. When his lips brushed over mine for 3 seconds, he pulled away. Percy's eyes were wide, my cheeks flushed. I didn't dare look at anyone else.

About a minute later, I decided my fate. There was a flight of stairs next to me-I ran down each step with a clank. I disappeared around a corner.

I used to get asked about it. People started calling 'Run-away Chase'.

I see why. Ever since then, I never faced the problems in front of me. Though I never found the reason why people do that.

Though I wish, when life put a difficult situation, I didn't say 'why me?', I should have said, 'try me'.

I felt horrible, I felt guilty.

But, one day I asked myself, why did you run?

And I said, because I liked it.

* * *

_Thanks, I guess...I hope you all like my story, i'm a little shy about it._

_-Rin, a girl who's fatal flaw is Hope._

_(To those of you who read the first draft, I am adding information for each thing. Each chapter will be at least 2,000 words,)_

_I have another idea for writing and am kinda on hiatus till further notice. I apologize for my absence. And tardiness._


	2. Chapter 2

**o~o~o**

2

My mom used to say, "It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep,"

It always made me think she was trying to say something in between her words that I had missed. Thought, I wish she explained it to me more. But, when I did realize exactly what it meant, I never wanted to remember the quote ever again. Ever again.

'Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other,' -Paulo Coelho, a Brazilian lyricist and novelist. I would like to say he is the reason I believe that me meeting Helen wasn't how fate planned. I'd also like to say that he planned how me and Percy met. But, the fates must have planned that a long time before me and Percy first met. We were born a day apart.

He was about to go home when I was being put in one of those baby rooms by a pediatric nurse. I don't remember much of what happened that day, neither does Percy. In fact I don't think I remember anything about that day, but my parents watched as they pulled out a little baby boy only seconds after I was put in. Funny how things work out.

The first time I met Helen was the beginning of Freshman year.

That was almost 3 years ago. She was an inexperienced smart ass who graduated WAY too early. How do I know? Well, let's just say she likes to talk a lot. Like how she absolutely LOVES her husband. And her co-workers. Surprisingly since she works with Chewy. The annoying guard who works at the front desk. Trust me, she also works at the school, yelling at the kids to hurry up and cross the street. She used to be a Military commander, which means she has to shout stuff the makes me want to scream. Though, her name isn't Chewy. I call her that just to annoy her. She calls me Annie Belle. Real original, right? My little brother calls me that sometimes! But, she is really annoying. She arrested a couple of teenagers just for-, well not exactly arrest just got them 8 months of Saturday detention. Same difference.

There's this saying, that you might feel worthless to one person but priceless to another. Well, every time Helen talked about her husband, I thought that. And sometimes I was jealous. She seemed...happy.

Then, it came back around to me. Like it always did.

"...you have to talk to me sometime Annabeth. I, I understand what your going through, I can help you." Helen said. Her brown hair was wrapped in a high bun. She wore black pointy heals and a skinny gray skirt. Her white blouse was lightly ruffled. Helen sat in a position that said she wanted the answers she had been looking for at least 3 months. I mean, she thinks I like this. My file is Empty. COMPLETELY EMPTY. NADA NOTHIN'. She has no information on me other then the fact that I talk but never really...talk.

I shrugged my shoulders. Helen was only 23, and she was impressionable-like my mother, trying to impress someone. I know because I used to act like that. Maybe I still do, I just can't tell anymore.

"Annabeth," She said stiffly. I remember hating her at each point she said my name like I was her cat or something. I clenched my fists.

"I don't feel like talking today, Helen." I said, my voice a faint whisper. I kept my head down, as usually she tried and pushed.

"Sorry to hear that. Annabeth, and it's Mrs. Hawthorne to you. Can I ask you a question?" Her eyes turned a little softer-knowing she had to be smarter at how she talked to me. I laughed inside my head, god will this lady ever give up? I mean she's tried every

"It's_ may_ I ask you a question, not _can_," I corrected. Helen gave me a bored look.

"Yes, sorry. _May_ I ask you a question?" Her blunt voice annoyed me more than ever.

"But," I leaned over in emphasis, adjusting my glasses, "you just did."

Helen looked slightly offended by the comment. "Annabeth-"

I stood and grabbed my bag. I turned a little. "I got to go, it was a nice chat... Mrs. Hawthorne." My stiff voice was dripping sarcasm as I headed to the door.

"Annabeth, Annabeth. Your staying here, Annabeth! Annabeth!" I opened the door and walked down the hall. I heard Helen saying things like, 'Your in so much trouble...I'm calling your...Annabeth!'

I left the building before Helen could call the cops on me. I knew she wouldn't go that far, but she still would call Mr. Brunner. I really didn't want Mr. Brunner on my back today.

Damn, It was cold. It was February, it had just recovered from a snow storm. But, it wan't as bad as people thought. But, we were suppose to get another ice storm in a couple weeks.

I grabbed my bike off the ramp and grabbed my IPOD in the front pocket, playing Caesar Jerk it out.

* * *

_Wind me up_  
_Put me down_  
_Start me off and watch me go_  
_I'll be running circles around you sooner than you know_  
_A little off center_  
_And I'm out of tune_  
_Just kicking this can along the avenue_  
_But I'm alright_

_Coz it's easy once you know how it's done_  
_You can't stop now_  
_It's already begun_  
_You feel it_  
_Running through your bones_

_And you jerk it out_  
_And you jerk it out_

_Shut up_  
_Hush your mouth_  
_Can't you hear you talk too loud_  
_No I can't hear nothing cause I got your head up in the clouds_  
_I bite off anything that I can chew_  
_I'm chasing cars up and down the avenue_  
_But that's ok_

_Coz it's easy once you know how it's done_  
_You can't stop now_  
_It's already begun_  
_You feel it_  
_Running through your bones_

_So you jerk it out_

_Coz it's easy once you know how it's done_  
_You can't stop now_  
_It's already begun_  
_You feel it_  
_Running through your bones_

_And you jerk it out_  
_And you jerk it out_  
_And you jerk it out_  
_And you jerk it out_  
_Oh baby don't you know you really gotta jerk it out_  
_When you jerk it out baby don't you know you really gotta jerk it out_  
_When you jerk it out baby don't you know you really gotta jerk it out_

_Caesar - Jerk it Out_

* * *

Yes, I know what the song is referring to, but that doesn't make it any less good of a song, I mean it is awesome.

I was only like 4 or 5 when it came out. But, still it is a good song. I road my bike down all the roads. I may or may not have hit a few pedestrians along the way, but who cares.

I made my way to my house. An old apartment mended together with the ones beside it. We lived in a neighborhood that was in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. It wasn't expansive but it wasn't cheep. I lived with Mr. Brunner, AKA English/Philosopher/Track & Field Coach At Goode High School. He knew my parents well. Well enough to become my Godfather. He was always nice to me, even as my High School AP English teacher.

"I'm home," I said. I left my bike on the door step and put my shoulder bag on the coat hanger. I walked into the kitchen to find them all eating.

"Annie!" Bobby & Matthew jumped off the stools that surrounded the island table. Now most of you in your right mind would say those are her brothers. People in their wrong mind would they were my kinds and I'm a big fat whore. Well, your both wrong. Their my step-brothers, it's a long story. I'll get to it in a second.

Bobby and Matthew ran and hang onto my legs for dear life. I chuckled. I looked up at Mr. Brunner as he stared at us amusingly. He took another bite out of his pasta salad. As did Malcolm, my brother. Not step. Real bloodline brother.

"A little help you two?" I said with a small smile. Bobby giggled against my leg. Malcolm gave me a thumbs up.

"Alright, Bobby let go of your sisters leg. Matthew leg go of your sisters leg." I looked at him weirdly. Bobby and Matthew let go of my leg and walked back to the island stools.

"Annabeth," Mr. Brunner motioned toward my chair. I sat down on my stool and began to eat my cold pasta salad. ''Your brothers would like to be referred to separately." I nodded my head.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Just because were twins-," Matthew started.

"-doesn't mean we have to do everything together." Bobby finished. They glared at each other.

You see, Bobby & Matthew were sons of this women. Her name was Susan Garcia. She worked with my dad at his architecture firm. One day my parents got in a fight, and my mom kicked my dad out for a week. I was in 11 years old. Malcolm was 7 years old. My dad ended up staying the night at Susan's house. She kept on tempting him, and when temptation went to far, they ended up *BLEEP* -ing each other all night. A couple months later she figured out she was pregnant. She didn't tell my dad and instead quit her job. After they were born she left them on our front door step.

ROBERT ANTHONY GARCIA

AND

MATTHEW DONOVAN GARCIA

My father never signed the birth certificate, and he never told my mother. He told me on their 2nd birthday when I said they looked like him. My mother thought they were abandoned children and we ended up adopting them. The police tried to find the real mother -Susan. But, last I heard she changed her name to Jackie and high tailed it to Bulgaria.

"So," Mr. Brunner interrupted my thoughts. "How was your meeting with Mrs. Hawthorne?"

I gave a toothy smile and an innocent look, "You might be getting a call from her...again,"

"Annabeth-," He said loudly and sternly.

"I'm sorry! She's just so persistent and-,"

His phone rang in his pocket. He sighed loudly. Mr. Brunner smiled at the caller ID and showed it to me. HELEN HAWTHORNE.

I put my hand over my eyes and leaned on my elbow on the table. I peaked out a little -

"Yes...Yeah...She's home...I'll talk to her...okay, thanks have a good night."

When he was finished, I spoke before he could talk to me. "You know I'm not hungry any more," I pushed my plate and ran upstairs.

"ANNABETH MARIE CHASE!" I heard Mr. Brunner yell. I was probably going to be grounded again. I mean why doesn't Mr. B just cancel this thing with Helen. Sometimes I think she has a life guarantee to make our lives worse. She's now seeing Malcolm. AND he's only 12. I mean he doesn't deserve to be there.

I ran into my bedroom and locked the door. Gods.

Why doesn't the world just go away for good?

* * *

_You like...no...yes...If you can't tell I'm nodding/shaking my head. Tell me on Review or PM. Sorry kinda short. Thanks,_

_-Rin, Salmon ;P_

_Hope you liked the twist, more to come. I'll make sure to update ASAP. I Promise. Thank YOU R&R_


	3. Chapter 3

**o~o~o**

3

I never liked crying. But, today I had an exception.

The thing about life with Mr. Brunner wasn't something I talked about much. Ever since my parents death he seemed tense around things as simple as Will, If I decided to drive a car(never going to happen), and he must have imagined what was going to happen to us. Tragedy. He said the one word he thought of when he saw my brothers and I on church pew.

I was in a black lacy dress, my hair was down to my shoulders. I almost never wear my hair down. But, my mom liked my hair down. I remembered they asked my brothers and I to speak. Malcolm complimented them in ever way, shape, and form. He said, he said he felt selfish for them being gone, because all they cared about was us. Bobby and Matthew were only three at the time...so I was last.

I remember saying this - "I used to think that when you die you just dissapear into darkness, but I know that when a child has to grow up without a parent, that the parent must somehow see their child in someway." I remember looking at my brothers, then turning back to the audience. "My parents aren't going to be their to-to be there," I rubbed the tears in my eyes. "They aren't going to be there for my first day in Sophomore year. For Malcolm's first day in Middle School. For Bobby & Matthew's first day in Kindergarten. The day they trust me with a phone. They won't be there to threaten my Prom date to have me home ." A few people laughed sadly at that."But, I think they'll be their to-to watch over me."

I wasn't the most memorable ceremony that ever existed, but it was one I would remember. For the rest of my life.

I remember some of my old friends came too. Piper, Katie, Calypso, and Hazel. (A/N-NO THALIA, SHE IS IN SEQUEL) They all had parent(s) dead too. The only one I could relate to was Calypso, her father was in Jail and her mother died in child birth. But, she didn't talk much to anyone.

After everything was said and done, and all the tears were shed. Mr. Brunner approached me on the church pew. Everyone had already left. My fourteen year old self sat on the 5th row looking at the photo of my Parents. Tears threatened to come out, but I refused.

"You know Annabeth, they're not-" Mr. Brunner started. I couldn't take it then. Whether it was me or all the emotions possessing my body, I couldn't tell. I just know it happened.

"No! I shouldn't have said that, I practically told my little brothers' not to grieve of our loss!" I screamed.

"Honey, you didn't. You made them feel better. It's a lifetime to them and to yourself. You made them believe that they're not alone." He told me. At first I found it reassuring, but then I thought back to it. I knew that the orphanage system would split us up. And I didn't want that.

"They probably won't be put in the same foster house so what does it matter." At that point I was willing to give up, with the funeral and packing and the out right torture of it all, I couldn't tell if I was alive or I was just breathing anymore.

"You know," Mr. Brunner started,"I have 3 spare bedrooms at my apartment. And I was thinking maybe the Chase Family wouldn't mind moving in." He said.

"What's left of the Chase Family," I muttered. "I don't want to burden you, Mr. Brunner."

"No burden at all! I would love the company, make a fifty year old man happy and say yes." He gave me his puppy dog eyes and I couldn't help but laugh. Mr. Brunner was like my second dad. We first met when I was 7 years old. I remembered how he was my dad's best friend. He was an old college professor.

"Fine, Yes. I'd love to." I said and hugged the old man. And with a small smile.

"Oh, and please call me Chiron. I may say I'm an old man. But I sure as hell don't want to feel like one."

And that's how we ended up living in the Brunner Residence. I know that if Mr. Brunner-Chiron hadn't let us live there, I wouldn't be with my brothers right now. So, I am thankful for Chiron bringing us into his own care.

* * *

There are reasons for everything, a back story, a simplistic idea. There are few things unexplained. But, those come from people who believe in more then the impossible. But, I'm a big reason. I'm the reason my file is empty. I'm the reason we live with Mr. Brunner. I'm the reason Malcolm got an A+ on his math exam. I'm the reason I had to get glasses in the second grade. And I'm the reason my parents are dead.

I put the flowers on the two dead bodies under the ground with one head stone. CHASE. Bobby and Matthew stood behind me. Malcolm and I put the last few tiger lilies on my mothers grave. She loved Tiger lilies, we used to have a garden in our back yard filled with them. They died along with my parents in the accident.

"Hi, Mom." I said. "Hi, Dad." I sadly smiled at the grave.

Exactly 2 years ago.

I hugged Booby and Matthew. They both looked at the grave like it was something they knew about but never understood. I gave them a weak smile. I knew that they'd understand it more when they were older.

"What were mommy and daddy like?" Matthew asked me. I smiled and brushed some of his hair from his face. He looked back at the grave stone like it was a lump of coal. He frowned and turned his head to the side. I chuckled.

"They were wonderful people, who loved you guys more than anythings in the entire world. When you went to sleep they used to say, 'I love you to the moon and back'" My voice broke a little and tear came across my cheek.

"Daddy used to read me stories, stories that meant things to certain people."" I spoke softly.

HERE LIES BELOVED FATHER & MOTHER & FRIEND

FREDERICK J. CHASE ATHENA L. CHASE

"I'm sorry," I told them. I didn't want them to know the entire story. And never did. It wasn't something I'd be proud for anyone to know. And I hated it. I'm not even sure Mr. Brunner knows. He stared down at us sadly. I didn't know what else to say. Neither did he. I was afraid if I talked about there valiant life I'd end up saying things I shouldn't have, so I kept my head down in submission. I didn't no any other way then to give them a silent thanks for watching over us. But, Bobby and Matthew still didn't fully understand what I was saying. They would deny anything I said, because they didn't see what I was looking at.

That was how my morning went. Today wasn't my favorite day, nor was it that bit unable to dread. I headed to the library instead.

* * *

The Boys went with Mr. Brunner back to the house after we had lunch on top of the hill. It was a silent nonexistent lunch. Well, for me it was. I didn't talk at all. I asked if I could be alone. And I ended up at the library. It was a couple blocks away from the cemetery and school. I walked into the Library quietly, though I could sense the awkwardness. Maybe it was because I hadn't been here in since...since before.

I barely knew where I was going. I saw it - like distant memories. My stomach flipped over a few times at the thought. Ever remember how happiness feels. Ever want to remember how happiness feels. I wish I could forget, though the taunt is not appreciated - I guess there's a Reason I need to Remember. If Only I Could Forget.

I walked in, like I knew what I was doing. I really hope I didn't trip, my mind was somewhere else. But, the place looked so familiar and so happy in my mind. Now, when I look back on it - I'm pretty sure I looked a chicken who was incapable of strutting. Yes, Chicken's Strut. And Annabeth Chase is not a chicken. Pun intended.

I kept walking mindlessly through the Library. I remember not really looking at the signs for what books were in what selves, I needed to waste as much time as I could. I needed this day to go by without anything really, and I mean really annoying me.

It was a little spooky now that I think about it, tall glass windows and shelves that had ladders attached to them. Everything - and I do mean everything was made of Oak.

Last time I'd been here it was a dull color - it was normally late afternoon when I came here with my dad.

I kept walking on one of the aisles. I came to a section for Historical Fiction/Young Adult Fiction. This section really got to me, it was one of my favorites. Like I said to my brothers' my parents used to read books like these to me a long time ago. Then, I saw it.

_The Book Thief By Markus Zusak_

I remember it being more in front of the shelf then the others. I walked up to it and grabbed it steadily. I smiled shakily, the memory came back to me of when we read the ending and how sad I was, My dad was trying to explain things to me in a calm way.

_FLASH_

_"No. Dad. No. Why Rudy?" Little Annabeth was crying was crying next to her dad. They had just finished reading The Book Thief. Annie didn't understand - why would they kill everyone? Everyone but her._

_"Honey, it's okay. There's a-"_

_"But. WHY?" Annabeth asked. "__She has no one now. Not even him!" Annabeth cried more and more. She didn't care how the people at the Library were staring, she cried till she started to hiccup. Her father rubbed her back._

_"Death hates her. He taunts her. Why?"_

_"Because," Fredrick Chase spoke softly, "He teaching her something."_

_"But, he takes everything from her. All Her Hope." She cried again._

_"And puts Wisdom in it's place." Her father said. "She learns. Though, because of Death, she may never love again. Doesn't make her stupid, does it?" Little Annie shook her head over and over again._

_"But - ," Her father cut her off._

_"I'm not saying it's okay that her family died. I'm saying, she knows how to make her decisions better, she's smarter. It gives her a reason."_

_Annabeth nodded. "I don't want you to go Papa," Annie hugged her father. Her father chuckled lightly._

_"Don't worry, I won't. I promise," I wish he kept his promise _

_BACK_

_(PS-ANNABETH IS 8 YEARS OLD)_

I sharply wiped the small tear the escaped my right eye. I quickly put the book down and turned and ran out of that place faster then you could say my name. I just couldn't.

That was my reason, I couldn't.

* * *

_I apologize for the really sad chapter. It kind of reflects my parents funeral. I said some of her words. Three years ago._

_-Rin, a girl who's fatal flaw is hope. _

_I do hope you love my writing style. Follow me personally, and you may be mentioned in my next chapter - RIN SALMON._


	4. Chapter 4

**(WARNING-THERE IS A REASON THIS IS RATED T)**

**o~o~o**

4

I believe we have a choice in this world, about how to tell sad stories. On the one hand you can sugar coat it, when nothing is too messed up that can't be fixed with Peter Gabriel Song. I like that version as much as the next girl does. It's just not the truth.(A/N -TFIOS, Beginning quote)

My life isn't a Taylor Swift song, or as messed up as Charlie Kelmeckis's life is. I don't have to worry about the last words that I conjure up before I die. Or maybe I do, I don't know.

Though when I think about about my parent's death, it makes me think - - I wouldn't have any reason to be sorry for myself. And in the likes of Bring Me The Horizon, I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.

After my father and I finished The Book Thief, he told that there is is no book that teaches you wisdom. Only you can do that. I believe my father knew. Knew that one day he wouldn't be there to teach me everything he wanted to. He was only in my life for 14 years.

I'm selfish, selfish because I wish they died before I got a chance to love them as much as I do now. I think love is overrated, you can never love someone as much as you can miss someone.

But, that's not where this story starts.

This is.

It wasn't that I hated riding my bike to school, it was the fact Mr. Brunner woke up at five every morning and headed to work before us. I had to wait for both buses to pick up Malcolm, Bobby, & Matthew.

Having to wait for both buses took up most of the morning, especially since I had to ride my bike to school. After they leave, I have to make sure I have everything, make sure everything is off including all the power strips, lights, etc.

Mr. Brunner was big on saving money, so if anything was left on he would get mad.

He'd even check the bill for electricity to make sure the bill wasn't high enough to punish us. He'd sit on the table with his thin glasses on, and read it. He'd take off his glasses with one hand like a really, really smart ass professor and gives a us a nod.

I sometimes imagine what he would do if he came home and everything was on. AND I mean everything, he would freak out. I'd pay to see that.

So, anyway.

I had to head to school every day on my bike. It was actually something I enjoyed doing, I got to go to school the old fashioned way. But, of all days...today I was early.

My shoulder bag was still open with papers sticking out in a big mess. My Algebra 2 homework was sprawled on the floor next to my Latin homework, I shoved them in bag and closed it. I turned off EVERYTHING as usually.

And I left, my normal routine. I locked the door with my spare key and carried my bike down the concrete steps and towards the road. The roads were a little busy, everyone was already up and walking around.

We lived near a load of small businesses. Some of my friends from middle school work near here. The small businesses were great, some of them were better then others, the people that owned them lived on the upstairs floor(s).

I road my bike for a couple of minutes avoiding traffic and wandering pedestrians. I loved seeing their faces as I zig-zagged through the side walk.

"Annabeth!" I heard a man's voice yell from ahead of me. I looked up to see Mr. Micheal. I smiled at him. "Hi," I said to him. He smiled. You see, Mr. Micheal was a very nice man, and he had this wife who was...as he called extra-ordinary, extraordinary. But, she died when I was 6 years old. Mr. Micheal was a friend of my mom, I went to his wife's funeral. She died of leukemia, Mr. Micheal got really depressed and had to a Bereavement Counselor, like me.

Mr. Micheal sold newspapers and ran a small pharmacy on a small corner store, he usually sat on his small corner selling her papers.

''Good morning Annabeth," He said, I smiled.

"Morning," I said in my faint voice. I adjusted my glasses to look at the man. He was in his late seventies, I remember when I was a kid he used to give me lollipops when I went to school, back then I never liked the bus so I walked instead, my parents had no clue I did, because they had to go to work before I left. It was actually Mr. Micheal who told them what I was doing, mostly because he saw me every morning and the fact that I was late almost everyday, and I had no excuse. But, it wasn't like I was stupid, I walked to school for about 3 month and no one had a clue I did. Mr. Micheal was invited over a month after his wife's death and ended up telling them, ratting me out.

"How are you and your brothers? I haven't seen you in awhile." He said. I gave him a weak smile.

"Were okay." He smiled at me. "Good."

The awkwardness filled the air. He then grabbed a newspaper and held it up for me to grab.

"Here, on the house." I gave him a weak smile.

"That's not necessary, I'm good"

"Nonsense, he put the newspaper in my small basket that was attached to my bike.

I then left without a single word. I knew it was awkward, but I didn't have anything to say to Mr. Micheal. Ever since my parents death he seems to have thought we had something in common. No.

I kept riding, and then I passed Queen Marie's Fortune Telling Business.

"Annabeth!" Not again. I stopped my bike.

I turned to see non other than Hazel Levesque. My old friend from Junior High. Hazel was part of an oddball family. Her mom is a fortune teller, in middle school she was ridiculed for it. It was me, Piper, Katie and Frank who stood up for her. But, I mean, It was the 7th grade. All we had to say was, 'Shut the hell up and mind your own damn business'. When I looked back on it I probably could have handled that better then I did. Her father left her when she was 3 years old, she hasn't seen him since then. She's been dating Frank for the last couple of months.

"Um," She walked up to my bike her fiery brown hair bounced as she walked up to me in her flat feet shoes. "Your dad, I mean, um, Chiron, no, um, Mr. Brunner, um...whatever you call him, asked me to give this to you."

She handed me a three folded white sheet of paper. I took it and opened it up.

I imagined Mr. Brunner Telling me this himself like every letter I get. (A/N-Please imagine Mr. Brunner reading this to you.)

_Dear Annabeth,_

_Sorry I could not give this to you in person, but I saw Hazel was already up when I was walking by and knew that her family's business was on your way to school, so I asked her to deliver you this message- _

_I know your staying after school like usual, and want to tell you that I signed you up for an after school program. I already made plans for your brothers to stay at Ms. Luccasio's house. The program ends when Track & Field ends. _

_Have a good day Annabeth, _

_~Chiron Brunner._

_PS-We are having a pop quiz today. _

I mentally groaned then looked at Hazel. "Um, thanks." I shoved the letter in my pocket and was about to ride when Hazel said, "I'll see you there Annabeth," I turned and saw she was already back in the shop.

(WARNING)

That was how the good part of my morning went. This is where things went bad. When I got the initial 'Bad Side of The Neighborhood'. I was biking down a small hill when my bike stopped because of a small crack in the pavement sidewalk. The worst thing happened next when I felt the key slip out of my shoulder bag and land in the alleyway my bike stood next to. And the funny thing was, I didn't know where the key went.

"Shit," I murmured, I leaned my bike up against a nearby building, It was facing the sidewalk. I went into the alley and got on my hands and knees looking for the stupid key. The key was black and blended in with the dark pavement of the alleyway. It was honestly spooky as hell, the eeriness of it all.

"Stupid...god...son of bitch...can't even take the garbage out." I looked up to see where the voice was coming from. A man, in his forty's. He was wearing a grey shirt with multiple stains on it. He looked pissed, like really pissed. He had a black glad garbage bag in his hands, it was stretched to the limit. He put the garbage bag into the large dumpster. I adjusted my glasses to see his face. A five o'clock shadow was etched over a at least a dozen old scars on his face. He was fat, ugly, and by the looks of it drunk.

I stood up and dusted myself off not making eye contact. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing!?" I looked up at him. His gaze was on me, he grabbed an old beer bottle from the dumpster and held it up like a baseball bat. He started to walk towards me.

"Sorry sir, I dropped my key and it landed around here. I was just looking for it," I said. My voice somewhat small. He was about ten feet away from me.

"Bullshit!" He slammed the beer bottle against the apartment wall. The bottom of it shattered leaving only the top part that he held. It now had sharp edges on the end of it. He walked another five feet in front of me.

"You listen good, Bitch. Does the name Gabe Ugliano ring a bell to you? I sure as hell hope it does, you dumb ass FBI. You run back and tell them I'm not that stupid. A teenage girl. God, they must think I have a brain made a meatloaf for me to believe that." He was now a foot away, the broken beer bottle was held inches from my face. I looked at the bottle then back at him.

I then heard shuffle, feet hitting ground, pants rubbing together. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone peak around the corner of the building on the opposite side. When I looked that way the figure hid back against the wall.

"I truly am sorry, sir. I'm not with the FBI. And I'm not scared of you. Not as much as the person hiding behind that wall over there." I took my change when the man turned around to see who I was talking about and ran toward my bike I jumped on and pedaled as fast as I could.

"I truly am sorry sir!" I yelled behind me. I heard him walk out of the alley, I turned saw him looking furious at me.

"BITCH!" I heard him scream as I road toward school.

Then, I remembered. I don't have a key to get into the house, at least I'm going home with Mr. Brunner.

I'm dead.

* * *

_How would you feel if a crazy psycho guy came at you with a half broken beer bottle?_

_-Rin, :P_


	5. Chapter 5

**o~o~o**

5

Since my normal ride to school was far from normal I decided not to think about a crazy old man with a beer bottle and an after school program I never signed up for. It wasn't that I didn't mind having to stay after school, it was the fact Mr. Brunner had Hazel Levesque deliver me the message.

It wasn't like him to do that, if anything he would have waited till English class to tell me personally. Maybe it was his way at hinting that I needed to spend more time with people I used to know, or maybe it was his way of saying he would one day get me a phone so he could text me instead of having other people handing me letters.

I headed to my homeroom class. Algebra 2. Our teacher was Mr. Tantalus. He was the skinniest 20-something year old guy I had ever scene. He told the class about how he was fat as a boy and his parents forced him on diet. Nothing but skin and bones. But he always complains about...now that I think about it; everything. He never seems to be in a somewhat happy mood.

I walked in only to see something on my desk. Sitting in the second row, the seat closest to the window, on top of it lay my key. My key. The one I lost. On the cranky old mans street. It just...it practically glowed in my mind. I didn't let my face show it. I bit my bottom lip and put my stuff down. I grabbed the key and looked at it through me glasses. I let a small smile creep on my face.

The person who stood behind that corner building. He/She, though my only thought was why they didn't come out when I had a half broken beer bottle pointed at my face. The person was on the corner where the man came from, something told me they knew each other. And something told that person on the corner knew me.

And I was right. By the looks of it, that person was in my class. I just didn't know who. Out of the 30 boys and girls I could narrow it down to at least 15-ish. But still it was a needle in a hay stack. And the person could have asked a friend to do it. And I had no clue.

I spent the entire class time pondering why my life was just a confusing maze of illusions. I was near a window and that was good too. I was on the third floor of the school, I suddenly pictured myself plummeting to the grass below, like if someone shoved me out the window. I suppressed a frown.

"Miss Chase, is everything alright?" Mr. Tantalus asked me his face making a weird side concern frown as he looked at me. I twitched my nose, adjusting my gasses.

"Just wondering when I'll get out of this boring class, sir." I tried to sound as serious as possible, but I knew somehow I ended up grinning like a fool.

"Oh, well why don't you," he said it kindly as ever. Then his voice went monotone,"Stand up and tell the class every single digit of Pi."

"Are you sure, Mr. T?" I asked.

"Positive." He gave me a thumbs up.

"Alright, you asked for it." I muttered. I stood up and faced the class. Only ten minutes left.

"3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 70679 82148 08651 32823 06647 09384 46095 50582 23172 53594 08128 48111 74502 84102 70193 85211 05559 64462 29489 54930 38196 44288 10975 66593 34461 28475 64823 37867 83165 27120 19091 45648 56692 34603 48610 45432 66482 13393 60726 02491 41273 72458 70066 06315 58817 48815 20920 96282 92540 91715 36436 78925...There are 10,000 digits in Pi. I could go on and on and on. 3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 70679 82148 08651 32823 06647 09384 46095 50582 23172 53594 08128 48111 74502 84102 70193 85211 05559 64462 29489 54930 38196 44288 10975 66593 34461 28475 64823 37867 83165 27120 19091 45648 56692 34603 48610 45432 66482 13393 60726 02491 41273 72458 70066 06315 58817 48815 20920 96282 92540 91715 36436 78925 90360 01133 05305 48820 46652 13841 46951 94151 16094 33057 27036 57595 91953 09218 61173 81932 61179 31051 18548 07446 23799 62749 56735 18857 52724 89122 79381 83011 94912 98336-," The funny thing about what I was doing, well, I didn't really know every number in the Pi thing. I knew the first few, the rest I made up at the top of my head.

"Alright, Miss Chase. You may sit down." I looked at him with a creased eyebrow and frown layed on my lips.

"But, sir, I'm not done." I said. A gave him a little pout. I shook my head.

"Miss Chase-," He looked like I just truck him with lightning. Ha.

"You asked me to say every single digit. I committed it to memory. I barely even recited 3,000." He looked at me like I was the devil as the class laughed.

I smirked at his behavior. I knew I was smarter then him. He knew I was smarter then him. But it sure as hell was hilarious to see him try and out smart the only actual smart person in this class. I mean were doing 6th grade math and he thinks he can teach us something we already know, this school system is messed up.

I sat down in my seat confidently.

Okay, good job. Maybe this day will go out more smoothly.

One word. Five letters. Wrong.

* * *

For my next class, I had free period. Most people don't have a say in where you go, but I do. The Library is where, yes, most kids go. But, at least we aren't the ones who ditch school. Those are for the shady kids like Nico.

I wasn't looking for trouble, I wasn't intending to find it, But for some reason I didn't know the difference between trouble and stubbornness. For free period I had nothing to do, I knew somehow Mr. Tantalus has told Mr. Brunner in the teachers lounge before classes were fully changed. I didn't mind telling Chiron about my little attitude problem with my Math teacher. But if anything, any emotion spiked up now and then, he immediately thought it was my parents death, not my teenage hormones.

It got annoying from time to time, but I guess you could say I put up with it. Mr. Micheal used to say I was special; Iridescent was the word he used. It was what he told me after my parents died. It made no sence to me, but to him it must've made perfect sence. You block out everything and lash out when things get too intense, the only reason it didn't make sence to me was because it never occurred to Mr. Brunner that maybe I was just acting like me. I know he'd fully deny whatever I told him, only because he believed in what he thought.

I hear all these sad stories about people who want more then they can take. Though, I find on of the greatest authors is Charles Bukowski. Not many people liked his literature, including my parents. They said madness is not a way to show intellect. Well, I can say I disagree with them, he shows his intellect in his words. And I like reading his words.

So, in free period that day, I would check out a Charles Bukowski book and not give a damn what the librarian thought.

I walked in and went to a table with at least six chairs, and left my bag there. I walked over to Poetry A-F. The library was sorted by authors last name. It wasn't hard to find the his section. Sometimes I believe the quotes I heard about his work were just so blunt and understanding that people didn't understand. He did say, 'The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones of full of confidence'. That just described every nerd that ever existed (A/N-me).

I looked some more and found the book I was looking for, 'You Get So Alone At Times It Just Makes Sense'. It was on a shelf where it stood alone, the same level shelf had no books for three rows. I stood where I was and I opened it up and started to read a little of it, the jacket cover.

_Charles Bukowski examines cats and his childhood in You Get So Alone at Times, a book of poetry that reveals his tender side. He delves into his youth to analyze its repercussions... _

I felt them, a pair of eyes stare a me. I didn't move my head, instead I adjusted my gaze and looked up. And there stood, 2 rows away, a pair of sea green eyes staring at me. I wish I could have seen myself, how I looked at him, how my cheeks turned light pink.

His gorgeous raven black hair a swept look to it, his rested on my, not confused, not weird-ed out, curious. Like, five year old curious. I furrowed my eyebrow, gods of olympus he was making me feel really insecure.

In times like these, any annoying, petty, self conscious girl would un-modestly say, 'Is there something on my face?' when in there heart they know the guy is really staring at them...because. (A/N-I'm sorry, but this is true. 'Is there anything on my face?' is really cliche and it ticks me off to think girls think this makes a good catch line to tell a guy when he stares at you. I actually wrote a story about a guy who responded yes to the question, mostly because she was an annoying bimbo.)

I looked back at the book and closed the cover. I clutched it like a hand bag and turned to leave the row of books. My table was not far from the book shelf, only around it and to the left. I was at the edge of the long narrow row, looking down with all my might. And then there was a chest. A blue t-shirt draped with a gray jacket. I could practically see the boys muscles stick out of his shirt. But, they didn't stick out enough for me to be grossed out (A/N-Chapter 1 Section 3 # Sentences)

I didn't look up, knowing I wouldn't be able to conjure up words. And if I did it would sound like I went yoda on him.

I tried to step the other way, yet he blocked me again. God.

"What do you want?" I asked. My voice small.

He chuckled, and I could hear his frown. That's how bad it was. I cold hear it. I kept my eyes glued to my converse shoes. I twitched pushed in my glasses. I could tell he was still standing there looking at me and after a few seconds I had, had enough of it.

I side stepped around him and walked to my seat. And I was followed.

* * *

_Favorite Reviewer - GreekPrincess3_

_Sorry, that's all I'm going to write today. I want to ask anyone out if they think this...do you believe you have to die before you can actually live. In the words of Charles Bukowski I say that he is right, and that the trials we all fact are just to see if we have the power to satisfy ourselves. _

_-Rin, :P_


End file.
